Once upon a time there was a monster called Rolododododo He was so cute everybody would like him but they don't know How cute he is, no no, how cute he is, oh yeah, He's Rolododododo and he's good, he's my friend. He was swimming in the ocean just looking around at all of the seagulls He said "I don't know what those birds are, perhaps they are eagles." They weren't eagles, they were seagulls, and he said, "I think I'll pursue them. " And that's what he did, he followed those little seagulls And he went up on the land that used to be Japan And he said "Hey, my name is Rolododododo!" There's never been anybody like Rolododododo, no So Rolododododo went up on the land of Japan And he squashed everything that was around, he squashed everything that he found He just kept walking on the stuff and crushing it And it was not a big deal, cause there was no people there, coincidentally Then he went to Asia, I mean the rest of Asia And he started walking on everything there The problem was there was people there They were not too happy with Rolododododo, no, no, no, no, no, no The people cried and the people screamed and he didn't know what they mean He said "I don't understand you, I only speak monster talking, So I'll keep on walking, and squishing, and squishing, and keep on walking Following seagulls, might be eagles, I don't think they're eagles but they might be eagles." And he got to Europe, and he telled them "Hey, everybody! My name is Rolododododo!" I've never met anybody like Rolododododo, no There's never been anybody like Rolododododo, no no no There was never anybody, not like Rolododododo, no no So he kept on walking and killing people But he didn't know that he was killing people So he really isn't evil, no In a real sense he was ignorant of all the danger he caused With his giant paws he would squish on your jaws When you opened them to scream cause he was just so scary, man Have you seen him? He's so deadly You should be glad that you didn't see him If you saw him, you'd probably be dead cause he would step on you He just wants to follow those seagulls He thinks they're really pretty when they're flapping their wings If I saw those seagulls I might tell them "Don't you know you got a big monster following you?" Don't you know you got a monster following you? Don't you know you got a monster following you? You just think that you're flying, but Don't you know you got a monster following you? Don't you know you got a monster following you? Don't you know you got a monster following you? You just think that you're flying, but Don't you know you got a monster following you? Don't you know you got a monster following you? Don't you know you got a monster following you? Keep on flying, you just keep flying, but Don't you know you got a monster following you? You got a monster following you! You got a monster following you! Don't you know you got a monster? A monster's following you, the monster follow you. Don't you know you got a monster? Don't you don't don't know got a monster? There's a monster, that's the monster There's a monster following you named... Rolododododo is the monster, He's following you, his name is Rolododododo When Rolododododo got to Washington, DC Somebody shot him in the eye with a gun, that kind of annoyed him He said "I don't like being shot in the eye with a gun, that kid of annoys me. Who shot me? Who shot me? Who dares shoot my face?" "Rolododododo is my name and I'm getting kind of upset at you. I think I'm gonna kill you and you will have to say 'Rolododododo.'" There's never been anybody like Rolododododo, no There'll never be anybody but Rolododododo, no The only person alive is Rolododododo, yeah

Neko da tanoshii. Shimetta gohan ni aru. Soshite ha o migaku wa ii da mo! Brushing is very good! Brushing is very good! Brushing, brushing, yeah, yeah, yeah! Brushing, brushing, brushing kitty cat! Oh, yeah! Inaya no atari ni keshoudai ni iru, Watashi no kikubari o motsu. Ue ni keshoudai ni burashi, soshite... Brushing is very good! Brushing is very good! Brushing, brushing, yeah, yeah, yeah! Brushing, brushing, brushing kitty cat! Oh, yeah! Watashi o nazeru wa suki da. Kushi wa yoroshii da. Demo burashi o suru wa ichiban da. Ura ni burashi o shinaide. Fuka o suru. Kubi ni burashi o shitte - doko ni suki da. Sono hoka ni omae o soshaku. Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Kitty kitty kitty kitty meow meow meow Brushing kitty cat! Oh, yeah! Katsu, kushi o motte. Kushi o kosuritsukeru. Watashi no kushi o suru wa ichiban da... Brushing is very good! Brushing is very good! Yoroshii ja nai! Brushing is very good! Hai!

I got a conundrum And I put it to you Why won’t you just treat me kind? The root of my problem-- Your heart’s a Rubik’s cube I can’t make the blocks align I turn blue to red Then back again What the hell—where did that Orange come from? I never can solve ‘em You’ve got a Rubik’s heart It puzzles me every time You’ve got a Rubik’s heart I can’t make those blocks align You’ve got a Rubik’s heart I twist and I turn it The colors never match I’m going out of my mind I swear I’ll return it But never take it back It’s now a matter of pride I heard someone say They found a way But they just cheated and Peeled off the stickers I never will learn it You’ve got a Rubik’s heart It puzzles me every time You’ve got a Rubik’s heart I’m going out of my mind You’ve got a Rubik’s heart It’s a matter, a matter of pride, now You’ve got a Rubik’s heart This time I might get it… This time might be the one I’ve finished with three whole sides No, hang on, forget it… The red got all undone I swear I’ve gone color blind This Rubik guy Is gonna die If I get my hands on That god damned bastard He’s gonna regret it Making your Rubik’s heart It puzzles me every time You’ve got a Rubik’s heart It’s making me color blind now You’ve got a Rubik’s heart I just finished, I finshed three sides I’m telling you this time, I finished three sides You’ve got a Rubik’s heart Yeah, It puzzles me every time…

The snow falls outside my window And all's as quiet as can be It's midnight... I guess this is Christmas But there's no Christmas for me There's no gifts, there's no milk and cookies No stockings hung up with care There's no tree, not even a chimney No way Saint Nick could get there So, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas If you're lucky enough to have one Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas Call me when it's done I wake up on Christmas morning And I just wish I was dead Then I hear some carollers singing And then I go back to bed There's no point in getting too festive Not when there's nobody here It's alright, I'll be quite well-rested I might just sleep till new year So, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas If you're lucky enough to have one Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas Call me when it's done Christmastime is the perfect time To show someone you care But I don't see anybody is showing me, so Where's my Christmas, where? I don't mean to spoil your Christmas I know it's precious and good They call this the season of giving I'd give my love if I could This Christmas, I want it so badly I want to answer the call But no one will open my presents So I don't wrap them at all So, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas If you're lucky enough to have one Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas Call me when it's done I said, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas If you're lucky enough to have one Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas Call me when it's done

Any time I need you, I know just where you are Whenever I want you, baby, I know you won't be far There's only one thing that can fill me with that meaty heft MF, you're the total MF I want you every day, I just can't get enough Anybody who says "have something else," well, I tell you what, they are just too tough, cause Everything else just leaves me completely bereft MF, how I want you MF Everybody who is coming around this place They don't know how I feel, but they still get up in my face If they will come between us I'll make them experience death, because MF, you are my MF Let me tell you about MF, it is really good It's the best thing in the whole world, would you give me some? You should. And I will praise it with my dying breath MF, you're the total MF Everybody on the street knows it, everybody in the house, they knows it Everybody in the world knows it, everybody, everybody knows it And they know that this one thing really is so def...inite MF, you're the total MF What is it about MF? Why do I love it so? Is it the juice? Is it the meaty bits? I just, I just do not know It's the one ineffable thing that I refuse to ineff MF, how I love you, MF And as we draw to the end, I just want you to realize I love MF so much I need it on my insides And now there's only, only two little bites left MF, mother****ing MF

I’m a good sleeping cat, so just let me lie I’ll open your flesh, you make me open my eye You’ll get the cat scratch fever and you won’t know why You want to wake me up? You just try You’re making me mad, I’m tired of taking this crap Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up What’s a cat got to do to take a five hour nap? Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up Leave me alone, don’t lay a finger on my fur Cause if you mess with me now, you won’t get no purr You’re thinking I wouldn’t mind, but don’t be so sure You see this look on my face? It says do not disturb You’re making me mad, I’m tired of taking this crap Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up What’s a cat got to do to take a six hour nap? Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up You say that sleeping all day is something you don’t allow? It’s called a catnap motherfucker and I’m taking one now You’re gonna get my hiss instead of my meow The only reason you should wake me is some moist cat chow You’re making me mad, I’m tired of taking this crap Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up What’s a cat got to do to take a seven hour nap? Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up You’re making me mad, I’m tired of taking this crap Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up What’s a cat got to do to take a eight hour nap? Don’t wake me up, no, don’t wake me up

They look so happy, don't you think You could be them if you tried So go on on, blend into the crowd Just drink your fruity Kool-Aid drink Keep your differences inside And laugh along, but not too loud Hey, you're sitting pretty It's almost like they are your friends But as you're cracking witty You know that you're just pretending So, if you feel like you are popular No one likes you And if you feel you're fitting in Just know that no one understands And if you feel like you are one of them They're not like you And if you feel you're gonna win You've got a mess on your hands Turn off your mind and just go numb And stretch your mouth into a smile Tell yourself that's how happy feels Give yourself over to the dumb If you can keep it up a while You might convince yourself it's real Hey, this time you got it Your lonely days are long behind Before you take your shot it Looks like someone should remind you That if you feel like you are popular No one likes you And if you feel you're fitting in Just know that no one understands And if you feel like you are one of them They're not like you And if you feel you're gonna win You've got a mess on your hands But dry your eyes You don't believe in feelings, anyway Maybe you should just surrender? So, if you feel like you are popular No one likes you And if you feel you're fitting in Just know that no one understands And if you feel like you are one of them They're not like you And if you feel you're gonna win You've got a mess on your hands So, if you feel like you are popular No one likes you And if you feel you're fitting in Just know that no one understands And if you feel like you are one of them They're not like you And if you feel you're gonna win You've got a mess on your hands

You think that I am just a little innocent tiny little kitty cat But you will find that I am really quite a vicious animal Don't look at me that way or I will ask you just what you are staring at You think I can't hurt you? When I pop my claws I'm gonna show you I can and will You better watch out If I don't like your face I'm gonna get my claws in you Don't let the fact that I am the cutest thing you ever saw be fooling you I'm also super tough and dangerous and totally able to kick your butt I'll use my fangs and my claws and my kick kick kick to be totally schooling you You're gonna be so flabberghasted you're gonna just be like "What what what?" You cannot deny You're gonna be hurting If I can get my claws in you Break it down bongo player! Now triangle. And the guiro. Cowbell! Ride cymbal! Hi-hat! Now bring the drums back! And the vibes! And bass! Now you know Scapie is really a kick-ass excellent killing machine The kind that makes you run away when you see him and you go hide under the bed But I got a reputation to maintain and I'm not willing to seem Like I let little cowards like you get away so pretty soon you're gonna be dead I'm gonna cut you up If you don't cut it out Yeah, I will get my claws in you Then you'll be sorry That you ever crossed me Because I got my claws in you Claws in you Claws in you

You need food just like anyone Just like anyone who wants to eat and I want you to have anything To have anything you want to eat but It smells so good just now I only want a little taste So if you could, somehow Just leave a little on your plate And let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl, I'll lick it clean Let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl is what I mean And what I say If you love me in any way You'll let me lick the bowl Eat your fill and once you are done And once you are done, I'll get mine and Then I will eat up everything Eat up everything left behind, yeah Dry food is nice, sometimes It's crunchy and it's always there But won't suffice, at times When food smells linger in the air So, let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl, I'll lick it clean Let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl is what I mean And what I say If you love me in any way You'll let me lick the bowl SOLO Just put it down right there Where I can reach it on the floor I'll tongue it round, you'll swear It's cleaner than it was before You let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl, I'll lick it clean Let me lick the bowl Let me lick the bowl is what I mean And what I say If you love me in any way You'll let me lick the bowl

Of all the mercies mankind is shown The best, by far, is what's not known For with all our scientific decadence We still fortunately live in placid ignorance We don't see the patterns and we don't correlate And hopefully we won't until it's far too late For the danger we live in is oh so great If you knew the truth you'd find You'd surely lose your mind Believe you me, I know all too well I have learned that truth, but I'll never tell What I found in the notes of Professor Angell And no one else will know Of the thing from long ago... George Gamell Angell was his name, Great-uncle George, to me Professor of Semitic languages at Brown University He died while walking home at the age of ninety-three With no children, his estate was my responsibility Most of his papers were quite benign And the AAS will publish them in time But there was one box he kept locked up tight And within that box, I found the strangest sight Some sort of bas-relief sculpted in inch-thick clay With writing on the base, who knows what it could say Above that, some sort of creature it did show An octopus-dragon-man-thing, I don't know And the disjointed ramblings and cuttings inside Who knew what sort of maddening secrets they'd hide What terrible truths they might avow Not I, of course—but I know now “Cthulhu Cults” – that's what it said at the top “Cthulhu Cults” – if I could I would stop Myself from reading more Than I read before I read “Cthulhu Cults” The screed began telling the tale Of the horror in clay, for which words fail The thing he'd placed within the box Was sculpted by Henry Wilcox An artist whose talent, it seems Accompanied the strangest dreams He'd sculpted the sculpture at once upon waking Recalling as best as he could in his mind The Cyclopean vistas he'd found quite breathtaking Although he'd been happy to leave them behind To my uncle he'd brought the slate To see if he could help translate The runes he'd written at the base Which he'd seen in that other place The place whose angles seemed to be Governed by strange geometry My uncle could not help him with the translation At least so he'd told him until he had heard That the artist had dreamed a chaotic sensation Which somehow resolved itself into the words “Cthulhu F'tagn” The phrase left my uncle amazed For him it held some notoriety He plead that if only Wilcox said He'd membership in some secret society He'd never speak a single word The sculptor called the thought absurd Yet Uncle Angell wouldn't quit And coerced Wilcox to agree To make a regular visit Recounting all his nightly dreams And following were pages filled With views of dark and dripping stone With burning air that somehow chilled With garbled voice in monotone Yet in those pages dense with words A certain pair clearly recurred “Cthulhu” “R'lyeh” “Cthulhu” “R'lyeh” One day--Wilcox didn't come My uncle called to find he'd been struck with delirium They'd say...Henry had gone mad Ranting of this giant creature from the dreams he'd had As he'd describe the creature's lumber He'd work himself into a frenzy Then fall down deep into a slumber] Night or day, no difference, he Did this until April 2nd, about 3PM Then it stopped, he sat up in bed' Wondered where he was and rubbed his head And he was fine, that's what all the doctors said He went back to his daily dream reports But now the dreams were just the boring sort With no more that intrigues or that transcends The journal ends But that wasn't all my uncle found He'd somehow spread the word around Asking of dreams that did confound All of which occurred On dates before april the third From artists and poets these dreams all came Matching what Wilcox's entries described On the day he fell ill, many did the same While others went violently crazy and died. Finally, there were cutting of news stories From various places the whole world 'round Of strange suicides, of voodoo orgies Of prophetic letters, of strange african sounds Of white robed cults, Of native tribes growing restless Of mob scenes in New York, Of mad paintings in Paris Of prodigious incidents among the insane All these, and more, of which the articles spoke And all coming from that exact same timeframe And all of them ending when Wilcox reawoke And yet, despite this evidence I remained wholely unconvinced I just assumed Wilcox had lied And set the records all aside Had it stopped there, I'd never learn The fate which soon shall come to pass But through with Wilcox, now we turn To the tale of Inspector Legrasse